My broken heart…

I`m so incredibly appreciated by all my followers and readers out there in every corner of the world. I am so grateful and can’t thank you enough. I posted this post a few days ago and I got lovely respons, and I want to share this in English. This is written from the depths of my soul and from my heart.

 Dandelion children, broken heart, coping with life, quality of life, et knust hjerte, barndom, childhood, freedom, mental health, psykisk helse, shame, fault,

Having experienced and experienced a trip to the «Abyss» that I call it – and still working my way up to be as healthy as I can, many thoughts and feelings have been through my heart and my head. Someone I can pass on, others I have to learn to live with.

 

I have often thought of this with mental health and fear in the soul and emotional breakdown. In relation to this with physical pain, such as: a bone fracture. If I could choose, the choice would not have been so difficult, I would have chosen a bone fracture. Physical pain goes over and the body heals itself, you get well again ….

Why can’t it be that way with the psychic pain? … I can have patience with a physical wound and wait, it’s over. My mental pain has no waiting time. I’ve been waiting long enough, trying to trick my mind, but no. The wounds in the heart are still there and linked with me – emotional thoughts and emotions. A heart full of sorrow because of my time here on earth and what it has given me. Grief over my «luggage» from childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Where my emotional pain in my broken heart evokes anxiety that looks for places of refuge in nooks and crannies inside my body where it can germinate and grow with pace with both depressed and destructive thoughts that bring with it an emotional burst that gets tougher.

 

I often feel «trapped». «Caught» because I stopped living and do not give myself my own freedom. I have become «blind» and stuck to a «dead end». I live in the «shadow of myself». I deceive myself because my heart is hurting – it’s broken over the years – I just didn’t understand it until now.

 

Starting with «blank sheets» is not easy, but no one has told me that life is easy, just because someone is more fortunate than others. I must accept the cold reality. There are no more acts or chapters in this life. I go back to the beginning as far as I can. Try to erase or erase parts of my life. It is not possible, but I try to make the bad memories smaller and weaker and that they do not control me. The process is bad, but I do not want the «shadows» from the past …

My «shadows» from the past tell me

 

-you don’t deserve love-

 

-you will never be happy again-

 

-You ruin everything you take in-

 

-you don’t deserve others to love you-

 

– this broken heart will forever be there and your pain will be unbearable –

 

– when you find happiness «the» must be empty

 

and so it goes on …..

 

My broken heart, I have begun to push together again. It gets many scars, big scars, but ultimately not open wounds, but it gets me back, but life doesn’t get the same. What is broken is never the same again. It will always have cracks. I can «paint» over so it’s not visible on the outside.

As a butterfly I grow and change and hope I find my true colors in life, a new meaning of quality of life that finds my fragile «wings» and I can «fly» and soon, just soon, be on the right path …

I’ve started to «fly» a little …

 

 

-orkidedatter-

 

 

Thank you very much to my family, especially my husband and my son❤️

 

 

6 kommentarer om “My broken heart…

  1. I am on a similar self-empowering journey that is extremely painful but one that does bring healing. I applaud you for your courage. This perhaps is the hardest work one does in life …. that of finding Love within ourselves as dis-ease and dysfunction are eradicated. I’d be most honored if you viewed my last post entitled, «Transcendental». I have a strong feeling you will relate IF you understand English well and the «metaphors» I used to symbolize inner healing. Much Love! 💖

    Likt av 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and give me such a good feedback. I’m very grateful. I come to your blogg snd I will read, I have a feeling that I will like what you write because you are on a similar self-empowering.
      I read English and understand most of it, and I use dictionary to help me.
      I try to write English the best I can, I hope you understand what I write and mean.
      I love that you use to symbolize inner healing, thank you so much.
      Much love from Norway -orkidedatter-

      Likt av 1 person

      1. I understand you perfectly, Oki. This inner healing is huge, it hurts like hell, but, in order to gain freedom which is rightfully ours from the inner damage incurred by others, when we do the work, and when we finally do see the Light, we fall on our knees in deep deep gratitude for the Strength and Fortitude it took to walk into Freedom. I’m so glad our paths crossed today! (((HUGS)))!

        Likt av 1 person

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