Se mee…and I have failed..

(English text after the Norwegian)

counselor educator see me Norwegian blogger

Jeg har jobbet med barn og unge i over 25 år og har et ekstra hjerte for disse menneskene i samfunnet.

Dette er mine erfaringer fra mitt arbeid.

Det er ikke sikkert du deler min mening og det er helt greit, det er akkurat det som gjør arbeid med barn og unge så interessant da dette kan sees fra ulike synsvinkler og fra ulike kunnskaper og kompetanser vi har.

Men, jeg har et ansvar, du har et ansvar og vi har alle et ansvar for ungdommen i vårt samfunn.

Ungdommen trenger å bli sett og hørt og tatt på alvor med alle sine utfordringer emosjonelt de måtte ha. Kanskje ikke for deg kan hjertesorg høres alvorlig ut i tidlig tenåringsalder. Som voksen vet vi at dette gjør vondt litt, men livet går videre. Det er bare det at for noens datter eller sønn kan dette oppleves som slutten på livet. De er så unge så de har ikke erfart at livet går videre uansett hvor mye det gjør vondt og erfaringer med smertelige erfaringer. Det er noe som må læres.

Jeg har tro på å ha gode forbilder som kan vise dem at man kan lære seg å leve med disse tingene er gull verdt. Jeg har hatt mange unge jenter på mitt kontor som tror at livet er over fordi gutten knuste deres hjerte. Jeg har tatt gutter med ut fra kontoret og gått tur med de der de har ligget i krampegråt på asfalten fordi jenta ikke hadde bruk for han mer. Hun hadde funnet en annen.

For disse ungdommene er det trygt å ha noen trofaste personer rundt seg som ikke forsvinner eller endres, selv om omstendighetene gjør det. Som ikke svikter. De trenger akkurat deg.

De trenger en som ikke slipper taket selv når alle andre gjør det. De trenger en som ikke dømmer de ut fra utseende eller hva det falske bildet av livet deres på sosiale medier viser. De trenger noen som virkelig ser dem for de dem er og ser forbi «masken» og ser inn i deres indre. De trenger hjelp til å bære det som er for tungt å bære for skuldrene deres. De trenger deg.

Det er ikke lett å være ung i dag, og det var ikke lett å være ung selv når jeg var det, men det har blitt så mange arenaer de unge må kjempe for å bli sett. Enten er det skolen, i vennegjengen, hos det motsatte kjønn, i sosiale medier, idrett, og listen bare fortsetter.

I alt dette må mange i tillegg kjempe om foreldrenes oppmerksomhet. Jeg har snakket med flere ungdommer som forteller om dette, og jeg fikk meg en aha opplevelse. Motstanderen kan være jobben til foreldrene, telefon, sosiale medier, TV, hobby eller falmiliære faktorer.

I min jobb har det ikke vært å fjerne disse utfordringene, men mitt ansvar er å være der for dem gjennom det de måtte møte av utfordringer. Jeg kan være en samtalepartner, veileder, en trygghet, en som er trofast, en som blir når andre går, en som trøster og være der for dem. En som ser inn i deres sjel og hjertevarme.

Noen foreldre kan bli frustrerte fordi ungdommen ikke vil snakke med dem. Det er bare slik det er i noen situasjoner. Ungommen forteller meg at de ikke vil snakke med foreldrene om dette fordi de har nok å tenke på, de ønsker ikke å åpne seg for foreldrene om akkurat dette, de syns det er pinlig, de vil at foreldrene ikke skal vite eller de bare ønsker å få snakke med en annen part, reagere, lufte følelser og tanker og ha en bedre kveld hjemme sammen med foreldrene. Kanskje åpner noen seg opp hjemme og de kan snakke sammen uten at det eskalerer til krangling og uoverenstemmelser. Uansett er det viktig at ungdommen kan få velge det selv. Det er ikke alltid de trenger å snakke, men bli sett.

I min jobb ønsker jeg å se deg, men det er ikke sånn at jeg bare kan skru meg selv av. Jeg er den jeg er 24 timer i døgnet og uansett morgen eller kveld om jeg skulle se deg, eller du meg, jeg kommer aldri til å avvise deg. Så mange flotte ungdommer der ute. Jeg ønsker å se deg.

Men akkurat nå har jeg dessverre måttet ta et skritt tilbake og tenke over min situasjon. Jeg føler jeg svikter dere der ute som alltid har stolt på at jeg har vært tilgjengelig, jeg er så lei meg.

-Orkidèdatter-

//

Se mee…and I have failed…

I’ve been working with kids and adolescents for over 25 years and have an extra heart for these people in the community.

This is my experience from some of my work.

You may not share my opinion and that’s fine, it’s exactly what makes work with children and adolescents so interesting as this can be seen from different perspectives and from different knowledge and competencies we have.

But, I have a responsibility, you have a responsibility and we all have a responsibility for the youth in our society.

The adolescents need to be seen and heard and taken seriously with all their challenges emotionally they may have. Perhaps not for you, heartache may sound severe in early teens. As an adult, we know that this hurts a little, but life goes on. It’s just that for someone’s daughter or son, this can be experienced as the end of life.

They are so young they have not experienced that life goes on no matter how much it hurts and experiences with painful situations. It is something that must be learned. I have faith in having good models that can show them that one can learn to live with these things is worth gold.

I have had many young girls in my office who believe life is over because the boy shattered their heart. I have taken boys out of the office and walked with those where they have been lying in convulsive weeping on the asphalt because the girl did not need him anymore. She had found another one.

For these adolescents, it is safe to have some faithful people around who do not disappear or change, even if circumstances do. That doesn’t fail. They just need you.

They need someone who doesn’t let go even when everyone else does. They need someone who doesn’t judge them by appearance or what the false image of their life on social media shows. They need someone who really sees them for who they are and looks past the «mask» and take a deep lok inside who them really are. They need help to carry what is too heavy to carry for their shoulders. They need you.

It’s not easy to be young today, and it wasn’t easy to be young even when I was at that age, but it has become so many venues the adolescents have to fight to be seen. Either the school, the friends, the opposite sex, the social media, sports, and the list just goes on.

In all this, many must also fight for the parents’ attention. I have talked to several young people who tell about this, and I got an aha experience. The opponent can be the job of the parents, phone, social media, television, hobby or phyla-like factors.

In my job it has not been to remove these challenges, but my responsibility is to be there for them through what they have to face in life. I can be an interlocutor, supervisor, a security, one who is faithful, one who becomes when others go, one who comforts and is there for them. One who looks into their soul and their heart.

Some parents may be frustrated because the adolescents do not want to talk to them. It’s just the way it is in some situations. The adolescents tells me that they do not want to talk to parents about this because they have enough to think about, they do not want to open up to parents about this, they think it is embarrassing, they want the parents not to know or they just want to get talking to another part, respond, take out some emotions and thoughts and have a better evening at home with your parents. Maybe someone opens up at home and they can talk together without escalating into quarrels and inconsistencies. In any case, it is important that the adolescents can choose for themselves. They don’t always need to talk, but be seen.

In my job, I want to see you, but it’s not that I can just turn myself off. I am who I am 24 hours a day and whatever morning or evening I should see you, or you me, I will never reject you. So many great adolescents out there. I want to see you.

But, right now I have unfortunately had to take a step back and think about my situation. I feel like I ‘m failing you out there who have always trusted that I have been available, I am so sorry.

-Orkidedatter-

20 kommentarer om “Se mee…and I have failed..

  1. No you are not failing. You are doing a great job dear. I had to read this now. I needed this. Thank you so much. Growing up and heart breaks can be tough really. ❤️💕

    Likt av 2 personer

  2. Hvis du måler alt du har gjort imot at du blir nødt til å ta vare på deg selv nu, så er jeg helt sikker på det er overvekt så det holder av det første ❤️ Hvis du ikke hadde tatt et skritt tilbake nå så ville du svikte på en annen måte, for så var du ikke «til stede». Klem til deg ❤️❤️❤️ DU har gjort hva du kan!!

    Likt av 2 personer

    1. Vakreste deg med de klokeste ord, det tenkte jeg ikke på egentlig…men ja, det er sant som du sier. Kan jeg ikke jobbe med hjerte, så er det slutt… men rart allikevel, de følelsene og samvittigheten.
      Klem til deg🦋

      Liker

  3. You need to look after yourself first before you can help others, this does not mean you are failing them… Just thinking about them & feeling this way shows whay am amazing person you are… Don’t put yourself down… You will get through this & get back to sing what you love… ❤💕

    Likt av 3 personer

    1. Thank you so much for your beautiful words. I am both humble and touched far into the soul. Your words make an impression, and yes, it is true what you say. It’s so easy to talk down yourself…🦋
      Soon I will get back to my love❤️
      Thank you very much, you are so beautyful🦋
      I hope you are ok, and have a nice evening🦋

      Likt av 1 person

  4. I have worked with young people over the years and you are right in what you say. They need someone they can trust, talk to without fear or ridicule. But it’s also important to look after ourselves also so we can be the best help possible for these young people. You are not failing in what you do for them, but there is a need for rest also. Stay with it, you’re doing great! Enjoy your day!

    Likt av 2 personer

    1. Yes you’re right. It is important to me and when I cannot work with heart, it also does not become right to stay and not be present for them. I need to rest and think, Then I see what I do.
      Thank you so much for your support, I really appreciate🦋
      I wish you a nice day when it comes and enjoy🦋

      Liker

  5. I am a high school teacher and deal with adolescents every day. Like you, I try to do my best to make them feel good, to motivate them to learn and give them as much confidence as possible. However, it is not an easy task. It is often stressful and exhausting. I too often get the feeling I am failing, but in reality it is not so. It is just a mental state. Therefore, I need to switch off after work and take care of myself because I am an empath and my confidence goes down easily. Luckily, my blog is a therapeutical space for me where I do things that are pleasurable. Also, I love the wonderful karma effect in the realms of wordpress.com where you give and take and cross paths with many interesting and talented people. What kind of job with adolescents is yours? Do you work in a youth center? Well, anyway, stay strong and take care of yourself! 🦋 💞

    Likt av 1 person

    1. Those students are so incredibly lucky to have you as a teacher, I am absolutely sure. It is absolutely true what you say about exhausting and yes, I also have to turn off. But then I got sick and it was too much for me to cope with.
      Yes, the blog is therapeutical to me too, and I am so grateful the karma effect in the realms og wordpress too.
      My job is social teacher in primary school and social educator and environmental therapist in psychiatry and youth in the municipality.
      Thank you, I stay strong❤️
      🦋I hope you have a nice evening🦋

      Likt av 1 person

      1. You touch my soul and warm my heart Ilona🦋thank you very much. You make me happy, and this words was exactly what I need to hear right now❤️
        I keep dreaming, maybe one day someone will publish my poem and art, you never know🦋
        Bless you🦋🙏🏻

        Liker

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